Day 2 - Poem about an Event in your Week  

Posted by Megan

Unlike yesterday's poem, this was fairly easy. To take an event that had emotional significance that happened in the last week made it easy for me to know what to write about. It is true, I may have had the most boring week ever. One thing came instantly to mind, but I decided to make a list of the emotional events of the week, just in case the first idea didn't work out. There was a whopping 3 events listed.

Special thanks today goes to perpstu and CHiC for help in editing this poem and for stroking my ego (as I specially asked be done.) Please click on their names to go to their blogs and support them for tolerating my genius.
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Monday


The phone rings, the caller ID says "school"
You know pretty much the only option is to panic.
The safety and well being of your five year old is now in jeopardy
Even though you left her in their barely capable hands.

The receptionist politely explains to you that school let out early today.
You politely explain you are not an idiot and request she not make future assaults
On the character of your parenting.
Really, if you'd forgotten it would have been an honest mistake.

But you didn't forget. You grit your teeth and smile.
You grind out the explanation.
Inside there's anger at everyone,
Is it shielding the guilt of not having picked her up yourself?

When your daughter gets on the phone the distress in her voice...
The distress in her voice melts everything else away.
Mind like blank whiteboard, while feet are running in circles.
You need to get to the school. NOW.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 02, 2008 at Thursday, October 02, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 comments

I can feel your anxiety in this. I'd get rid of the unnecessary words to make it more potent, doing so will shorten the piece and bring out its urgency.

Phone rings, caller ID: "School."
Panic. My 5-year old's there, isn't she?
Condescending receptionist questioning my parenting skills,
I grit my teeth hoping she hears,
angrily explain.
Guilt rises, should I have picked her up myself?
Her tiny voice, scared, distressed
melts everything away, my mind is a blank whiteboard,
feet are running in circles
get to the school. NOW!

This is just a suggestion.

October 2, 2008 at 6:03 PM

It was already suggested that I take out unnecessary words. And I took out some and contracted some. While I like the effect, it just isn't "me".

October 2, 2008 at 6:12 PM
Anonymous  

You have portrayed the sense of anxiety very well. Reads fluently and interesting to boot.

October 2, 2008 at 6:23 PM

I like it, the feeling of agitation first covered quickly by remorse, or more appropriate guilt and compassion, then panic.

I like the way it is

October 2, 2008 at 9:52 PM

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A Poem Is A Little Path

A poem is a little path
That leads you through the trees.
It takes you to the cliffs and shores,
To anywhere you please.

Follow it and trust your way
With mind and heart as one,
And when the journey's over,
You'll find you've just begun.

--From The 20th Century Children's Poetry Treasury,
Knopf, 1999, copyright by Charles Ghigna.